Patchwork of Life (It's Hard)

Sometimes it's hard to know what others think of you.
Their opinion means so much.
You don't want it to but you know it has to.
That's a part of life.
You want them to love you, need you, respect you,
And so much more.
We need to earn all that but sometimes we can't do enough.

It's hard to lose someone you really love.
I have chosen to wander from some and inflict that
Pain upon them.
I feel terrible but am trying to mend those tears.
The rips I put in the fabric of life.
The stitching will be different.
The patch not the same.
A medley of fabrics that has become you.
I realize the faults in myself.
I really do and I want to improve.
I, however, may hurt many in the process.
And add my own stitching to their lives.

It's hard to have a wall between us.
I can't know how you feel and what you want if you don't talk.
I can't explain any misgivings you may have.
Any misconceptions.
I wish you would talk to me.
I just want to know you.
Why can't you let me in?
Do you realize that you have hurt me?
Did that ever cross your mind?
I know I've hurt you but you never said a word.
I found out from other sources.

It's so hard to want something
With only a vague promise or small hints in mind.
It hurts to wait.
Sometimes I lose hope.
I somehow feel it's my fault that you won't tell me more.
Something wrong with me that keeps you away.
Is it that hard to talk?
To tell me how you really feel?
That's all I want from you.

If you want me in your life,
Say so then Show me.
I feel like there is a double standard here.
You expect so much of me but will not return the favor.
At times it brings me to tears.
I can't understand what I do not know.

It's hard to change.
Even when we know we need to.
It's hard to put down our barriers.
It's hard to let someone in.
It's hard to accept the influence of others in your life.
Hard to feel the rips, the tears, the needle stitching.
But in the end it will create a beautiful quilt.