Billet-doux

Dear You,
My Love this day I write to you all the deepest wishes of my heart.
I do not know how to express in words how much I deeply care.
But I will try and help you see your great worth and
Meaning in my life.

You are the ace of hearts and you have captured mine.
Thinking of you makes my heart do some wicked gymnast moves,
I wouldn't even know how to begin to name.
You have caught my attention
You have turned my head.
You are the only one I want by my side.

My life has been changed now that you've entered it.
You make me want to be someone worthy of your love and
I love it.
You make me better.

We are  the perfect pair.
The perfect match.
Have you heard of soulmates?
Well I found mine.

With all we've been through, you've been my support, my anchor.
You love me for who I am and never tried to change me.
All my idiosyncrasies are attractive in your eyes.

My deepest wish is that you will always be mine.
I have given you that which is most precious above all,
My true love, my heart, my undying affection and care.
And most of all I have given you someone who will
Always be there.
Who will support you in everything you do.
I am devoted to you in every single way.
Love is the only way to describe the feeling I have for you
But even that is not enough.

Love,
Me

P.S. Happy Valentine's day :)

My Letter to You and My Response

Dear You,

I wish I could tell you I love you, I wish I could tell you I care.

I thought you cared once... Why don't you now?

I wish I could honestly give you that feeling you wish I had there.

How could your feelings change so drastically in such a short amount of time?

There's nothing between us and there never will be

You said you loved me... Where did that go? 

Get over it

I can't get over it. I can't move on. 

Move on

It hurts too much

Forget that there ever was a "you and me" 

We used to be so amazing together, what happened?

You may say I'm a jerk, you may hate me, you may never want to see me again..

You're a jerk but I don't hate you...

But you're just a stupid girl so what should I care?

I need your friendship even if I can't have your love

I never needed you

You lied about how you felt?

I just toyed with your heart  

You played with my emotions!!

"Now it's broken" you say...

My heart is shattered...

Well you never should have let me have it in the first place

I trusted you to keep it safe

This isn't my fault, it's yours

You ruined everything

I'm not really sorry

You were never sorry

There's nothing left to say 

That was just a word to you

There was no meaning behind it and I could tell

These are the words that came out when I hurt you

You hurt me so badly but I am stronger for it

But I lied

I know you never really loved me

I was trying to protect myself

I don't know how anyone could be so selfish

I was afraid to let you get too close

I will never trust you again

I wanted you to believe I never loved you

How can I believe anything you say? 

The truth is I loved you more than anything 

First I tried to console you

I didn't need consolation, you only made it worse

But that just made me love you more

I don't care how you feel anymore

So I had to separate myself completely to feel justified in what I'd done 

I don't know how anyone could be so cruel

You're beautiful and amazing

I can't believe your words

I'm so sorry I ever left

You made me feel so worthless

I regret what I've said,

If you really want my trust you'll have to work for it

What I've done,

You'll have to prove it

Anything that caused you pain

I just don't understand

Can you ever forgive me? 

I will forgive you because it will help me heal

Love,

    Me

My Response

I thought you cared once... Why don't you now?
How could your feelings change so drastically in such a short amount of time?

You said you loved me... Where did that go?
I can't get over it... I can't move on
It hurts too much.
We used to be so amazing together. What happened?

You're a jerk but I don't hate you...
I need your friendship even if I can't have your love.
You lied about how you felt?
You played with my eomtions!
My heart is shattered...
I trusted you to keep it safe.
You ruined everything

You were never sorry.
That was just a word to you.
There was no meaning behind it and I could tell.

You hurt me so badly but I am stronger for it.
I know now you never really loved me.
I don't know how anyone could be so selfish.
I will never trust you again
How can I believe anything you've said.
I didn't need consolation, you only made it worse
I don't care how you feel anymore.
I don't know how anyone could be so cruel.

I can't believe your words.
You made me feel so worthless.
If you really want my trust you'll have to work for it
You'll have to prove it.
I will forgive you because it will help me heal.
I just don't understand.

My Letter to You

Dear You,

I wish I could tell you I love you. I wish I could tell you I care.

I wish I could honestly give you that feeling you wish I had there.

There's nothing between us and there never will be.

Get over it.

Move on.

Forget that there ever was a "you and me"

You may say I'm a jerk, you may hate me, you may never want to see me again...

But you're just a stupid girl, so what should I care?

I never needed you...

I just played with your heart.

"Now it's broken" you say...

Well you never should have let me have it in the first place.

This isn't my fault it's yours.

I'm not really sorry.

There's nothing left to say.

These are all the words that came out when I hurt you.

But I lied.

I was trying to protect myself...

I was afraid to let you get too close.

I wanted you to believe I never loved you.

The truth is I loved you more than anything.

First I tried to console you.

But that just made me love you more.

So I had to separate myself completely to feel justified in what I'd done.

You're beautiful and amazing.

I'm so sorry I ever left.

I regret what I've said,

What I've done.

Anything that caused you pain.

Can you ever forgive me?

Love,

Me

Secrets

Secrets keep and secrets stay.
Slowly wasting the day away.
Ripping at the tender heart.
And tearing at the delicate mind.
Things gone wrong and
Encouraged.
Why did they have
To happen that way?

I want to throw-up my
Feelings.
The ones that are
Making me
Physically ill.
But then all my
Secrets would
Spill.
For all to see.

"Where there's a will
There's a way" they say.
I wish I had the
Strength, the will,
The desire,
I want this pain to
Leave me.
But I can't do it alone.

I need You.
I need Your strength.
I need Your will
I need Your desire.
I need to come unto You.
You know all my secrets
And I am ashamed.
I don't know how I
Can stand before You now.
But I must.

Losing it

Losing it.
Losing you.
I thought I had
This figured out
But now there's
Nothing I can do.

They lasted so
Long, my feelings
For you...
Now they're gone.
And I know yours
Are too.

I don't know how
I should feel...
Relieved?
I guess I am.
But I'm also
A little confused.

A hole is left in my
Heart.
I spent so long
Digging it out for you.
I spent so long
Hanging on for you.

Now I'm not sure.
Not sure if I should be
Sad.
No I don't think so.
I feel somewhat empty
But I know I will
Figure it out.

You will always keep a
Special place in my heart.
Even if it's not one of love.

I realize you've moved
On and I don't even care
To who.
Because I know now that
We were never meant
To be.
Maybe she's the one
That will truly make
You happy.
I'm more than pleased
To say.

Because now
I can move on.

Now I can let
Myself be free.

Losing it.
Losing you.

Losing it.
Losing you.
It's ok.
I've done all
That I can do.

We'll just be friends.
And that's just fine.
I'm not used to it
But just give it time.

Losing it.
Losing you.

I've not lost you.
I've found a friend

Thinking

You've got me
Thinkin'
Thinkin' harder
Than I ever
Thought.
I don't know
How my brain
Holds it all.

Things that need to be
Thought.

Pulling out those
Thoughts that just
Wish to hide.
Bringing them
To a light they
Never wanted to see.

Things that need to be
Thought.
Things that need to be
Thought.
Things that need to be
Thought!!
Why?!

The Monster of Nightmare Island

The silence falls
Dim and weary
From above.
Empty, mind
Shattering screams
Hauntingly
Chill the
Bones.
Sending
Slivers of
Icy pain
Like bullets
Through the
Soul.

Every day
The mountain top
Joins evils of
Ones of old
To bring
Forth human
Sacrifice and
Tortures never
Told

The pain
Sears deep
And cuts right
Through
Feeble fragile
Consciousness

To take away
this life in
Utmost agony
And give it
To the beast
Of time and
Space and all
Eternity.
Supporting
Ancient rituals
Of incredible
Savagery
Keep this
World spinning
In dramatic
Apathy

The Human Experince

Everything is cloudy
And unclear.
The edges blur
Before our very eyes.
Distracted and
Confused by every
Morphed shape.
The colors begin to
Blend together
And we can no
Longer see.

The need to be
Seen through
The fog and
Heard through
The glass becomes
Overwhelming.
Surrounded by
People yet so
Far away.

Selfish and
Introverted
We've forgotten to
Remember.

Forgotten to
Remember
Others in our
Lives.
We no longer
See their
Pain or
Sorrow.
But only
Shadows of
Personality.

Do you feel it
Seeping through
Your skin?
You're becoming
Numb to others
And in turn
Yourself.

We must clear
That self-centered
Fog and tear
Down those
Wall of exclusion.
To fully understand
Ourselves,
Understand
Others

Lies lies

Lies lies they're all lies
Dancing around this
Shadowed sky.
The inky shell of shadow
Bugs
Absorb light of
Deepening dusk.
Never to return
A radiance
Dissipating among
The swarm.

Empty empty so very empty
A miserable city.
Slinking in a place so dark
This emptiness binds and
Tears apart.

Cold cold everything is cold
Swirling through this
Hapless night.
Long silver fingers spindle
Thin
Touch those souls
Left behind.
Inching across the
Restless mind.

This trap set and silent.
Waiting.

Lies lies dancing
Through the
Blackened skies.